Change

That’s right, time for a change. A change in my life, for the better (naturally) and I know there will be trying times. Hard times.

The pressure is on, as of now I have quit smoking (been smoking since I was 14 or 15 years old) and time to adopt a new way of living. A richer way of living.

I haven’t won the lottery, I’m not talking about money

Talking about health and education. More and more. I need these two things. That’s my first reason for quitting smoking. More daily-based exercises, walks (doubled them up) and more reading. Internet articles, books (especially), news posts, politics, movies, career, health. Mostly about anything, if not ridiculous (only if they we’re meant to be).

So, as of today, as of now, this is the wall of promise, these are my statements to which I shall come back after some time and review and see how I have managed to keep a hold of my promises.

I have felt the need to write them somewhere, where else than to a bunch of strangers, my readers. Thank you all, I know this blog is generating some hits, some views, some people keep coming here either by accident or curiosity and maybe later in a point in time ( I hope sooner) I will be able to bring something really good to the ‘Internet Table’

Thanks again, love you one and all!!

Workforce not required

In a medium sized city such as mine, being a student you would think you can find someplace to work… as anything. I don’t care if it’s November, work is work, money is tight (actually, non-existent). Just came home right now after 3 hours of searching. I said medium sized city didn’t I? I meant small, it only took 3 hours to ask around every bar and restaurant that was open at the time, the kind that are bigger on the inside (wink) but no such luck.

Finding a job here is harder than predicting the Apocalypse.

Cold

It is cold here, at home.
I sincerely cannot wait to go and travel the world once I get up on my own two feet. Financially speaking, of course! What else do you think could keep me down except money? Such a pity and such a shame to be hold down by material traits.

Still here, part 2

It’s been a while now and I haven’t been on my blog…. I wonder why I keep it, it gets some hits now and then but… I like to think of it as my own personal diary to the world… to the Internet.

A lot has been going on and I don’t know where to start. That’s why I won’t start. Stories of the old, of past times and I am not, if anything, an old man. Probably old age won’t even hit me by the time I’m through in this world. And it’s not a negative note, I just like to think of myself as a constant string, a never-shifting point in time and space. Well, in a manner of mere years, life will prove me wrong. Or will it?

I see that I have so many categories up here, Fictional, Gaming, Myself, News, Social Believes….. what are all these for, I wonder? I guess I was trying to make my blog multi-topics…. you get the idea.

I do not know how long I will be able to update my blog and what ideas of mine will skulk around here…. I am a little bit insecure, as I want all the credit for my ideas and not to randomly pop out around the world with someone else taking credit for it.

So, this blog should be…. what? Stories? Maybe, maybe. Meh, I don’t know anymore, but I do still plan on keeping it and maybe passing it down to someone else (passing your own blog to someone else, fantastic idea )

Check you internet readers sometimes later, when I got something to write about. I mean, really, write about. Something worth mentioning….. If not, same old rubbish

Still alive

I am still here. I am still rocking. I’m still feeling good. Voi ce mai ziceti, ce mai faceti?

Eu unul, bine, stabil. Ma mentin. I feel invincible, but don’t ask me to get in front of a freight train ). Spiritual, ok, I haven’t found God or another divinity, I don’t praise nothing now, but things are looking up and horizons are opening up, slowly but surely. A lot of “but’s” in this article. What can you do? “I’m writing here!”

Anyway, I’ve got a few recommendations, a few thumbs up from me in movie and game news.

Call of Duty: Black ops is pretty sweet, confusing at start, haven’t finished yet, but this newest title in Call of Duty franchise/series keeps the feeling of actually being there. I definitely recommend it, it’s a good game to lose an hour or two. Haven’t tried the multiplayer yet, but I’m sure it kicks ass as with the others.

Another game that I just can’t play it, you guessed it, horror game: Amnesia – The dark descent. Same as Call of Duty, the feeling is with you, the feeling that you are being watched, followed all times, a ghost/demon/person ( I do not know yet, I only got through 3 levels <I think>) and the best part about this game is you won’t kill anything, you don’t have any weapons to fight whatever comes your way. Your only ally, your only help is a closet, under a bed, hiding! Which is totally sweet, and you’ll surely get a good sweat from all that tension when you await the “Bad Guy” to leave when he’s close besides you/above you.

In the movies section, I saw Paranormal activity 2, a lot of talk going around, the world can’t wait for the sequel, because for those of you who haven’t seen the movie, it’s more like of a prequel to the first one. The budget is way higher than the first one and as the first you will get a good scare out of it. At least one, it did that to me

The other worth mentioning, is Christopher Nolan’s Inception. This guy won’t lose his talent anytime soon. The message of the movie at the end is meaningful. At least that’s how I saw it. For those who watched Avatar and were disappointed, you won’t be disappointed at Inception. Definitely worth watching, you won’t lose time. 10 stars on a scale of 5 from me. Cannot wait for another work of Christopher Nolan’s

That’s about all I have for you today. We shall talk later, probably in December. Still alive, still fighting, still hoping and still feeling good. This is Vlad, a.k.a. Blue Feather wishing you a warm and hopeful November

Update

Este tare amuzant si tare minunat cand ti se largesc orizonturile. Insa asta nu se intampla prea des.

Intram intr-o era noua, in care lucrurile marunte vor conta cel mai mult. Sau cel putin, asa vad eu viitorul. Viitorul omenirii, fiecarui individ in parte care s-a nascut pe pamantul asta, in realitatea asta va fi mai luminos.

Cum am ajuns la aceasta idee, aceasta convingere – va intrebati. Sincer, nu stiu nici eu. Stiu ca gandurile ne pot influenta modurile de viata iar daca este un moment in viata asta, un timp, o perioada in care sa traim si sa facem ceva, acela este prezentul. Este imposibil sa nu ne gandim la trecut dar este posibil sa nu ramanem inchisi in trecut. Este posibil sa traim tot timpul in prezent, sa nu ne mai gandim la lucrurile pe care le-am facut sau nu le-am facut.

Acesta vreau sa fie crezul meu. Acesta va fi crezul meu…

S-au incheiat zilele in care crezul meu a fost: “Nothing’s right… upon this wretched world, everyone is cold, mean, bad, rude (etc.etc.)” Acum cred intr-adevar ca viata este asa cum o vedem, asa cum ne-o facem.

Asa ca va sfatuiesc, cei care mai sunteti sub semne de indoieli: Stop thinking about the past. Do NOT linger there. Event’s have passed, life goes on, make it BETTER!

01 – Dreams

- Where am I? What is this place? Why can’t I see anything?

Echoes of his voice travel in this strange lair. No memories, no body. Just his essence, his soul in a black oasis, surrounded by tranquility and what seems to be light creatures.

- What are these things? Why can’t I feel anything, my hands and my legs. It’s like they’re numb.

Yet he doesn’t realize it, a strange thought occurs to him.

- Maybe I fell asleep. Too much work does that to ya’. That guy who said “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” didn’t know the half of it.

Only his voice comes back- haunting him- confirming that he is in a REM state of mind.

-Still, a bit weird for a dream. Don’t I suppose to be seeing things of what my conscious mind cannot see from the unconscious, or something like that?

If he would have a face right about now, it would be puzzled.

- Maybe I don’t have any inner wishes or desires. Hold on….

I seem to remember working like a drone, but I don’t know who I am. Not even the work that I do. What’s happening to me?

Another thought occurs to him, yet his terrified to speak it.

- Maybe… I’m.. dead?

No echo this time.

- I’m dead? As in dead-dead?! What happened?!!

Yet there is no one around to give him some answers. He can see that he is surrounded by light-idling creatures. They look like serpents, snakes out of a rain forest. Same qualities, same aspect, but different. He feels no fear whilst he attempts to approach one.

- What are these things?

He goes ahead and touches one. A strange and powerful light emerges from the serpent that was touched.

- It’s so…. beautiful…. what is it?

A figure appears before him. A woman dressed in white, with blond hair, and hazelnut eyes. This is purity and a fragment of his memories. The figure attempts to speak by opening her mouth, but not a word or sound comes out.

- Who… who are you? he asks while taking two steps backwards. He does not have a body, but if he would, two steps would’ve been taken backwards. Puzzling it may be that he may move without a body, he never questioned this as weird, or never even appeared to realize this.

The figure follows his retreat by taking one step forward, advancing. This figure, this ‘woman in white’ has a body.. the body of a teenager, or at least thats what he sees.

- It is not important who I am. What is important is the message I have come to give you.

<Message? Is she kidding me? I’m maybe in a life or death situation and she tells me she wants to give me a message?!> – Ahem, a… message?

- Yes, a message. But you are not ready to receive it. You have not grown strong enough. You have not suffered long enough.

<What, does this chick now my shoe size as well? Wait… I can remember now… I think…> -What is this place anyway? Where am I? Why can’t I remember anything and how do I get out?

- Relax, you will be out of here soon enough. I’d wish to answer all of your questions, but I am forbidden. When you are ready, you will know everything you need to know. For now… all that you must do.. is wake up!

<Wake up…? Wake up..? How? How can I wake up?>

…< Good morning, it’s 9:02  and what a beautiful morning it is. Sunny weather and no clouds for today with an estimate of 13 degrees…> The radio went out with a bang afterwards.

– Uhhh, what did I do last night? Why am I so exhausted?

<I don’t even remember how I got to sleep. At least, it’s Saturday, means no work for today.>

He wakes from his bed, goes about his daily morning routine which includes washing, scrubbing and breakfast. And then watches the news while powering up his PC.

This morning, something breaks his routine. He catches a glimpse of someone peaking in from the window. Only for a short second after which, the figure disappears. He turns on the T.V. to watch the news channel.

<… with a total body count of over 300 and still counting, this is the worst airplane crash this country has had in years, eclipsing even the 10th of August  1990 when another passenger plane crashed in the North Tower sky-scrapper killing everyone on the plane but no casualties among the building. This is Joe Silverton reporting live from the crash site, back to you Jenna!

Thank you, Joe, for those of you who don’t know, a commercial plane collided in mid-air with another passenger airplane near the city of  Dremberg just minutes ago. Early reports suggest there are no survivors form the passenger plane, only the pilot of the commercial plane is being rushed…>

-Wow, right here in this city…. man, this sucks… those poor people. How could this have happened?

Puzzled and confused he switches the T.V. off only to hear his cellphone ring. The caller id shows it’s from his colleague at work, Johny ‘Honest’ Cricket.

- Hey, buddy? Heard the news?

- Yea, I just seen it on T.V. How could this of happened?

-Well they say it was human error, but I don’t believe that crap. You know me…

- .. yeah, I know you. With your conspiracy theories and all that. Come on, lets be serious, who would want to target us? What benefit could they have?

- Who says that it’s for benefits? Or interests? Some people like to help around, others just want to throw our big wonderful world to the bonfire. You know how psychopaths are born.

- Yea’, a little too well….

- Oops. Sorry, didn’t meant too say that

- It’s all right. It wasn’t your fault.

- So anyway, listen, it’s Saturday. Want to go out, me you and Rachel?

- No thanks man, I’ll pass on that one.

- But why? You’ve got something better to do?

- It’s not that…. I’m not feeling so good, and I’m not in the mood.

- Come on, I really think you have a shot at Rachel. Come on, she wants to know you some more. What, is it going to kill you or what?

- Honest-Johny, you have no idea. Listen, I’ll think about it and give you a call..

- All right, but don’t think too much, or you might fry your brain. Just joking! I’m counting on you Derick..

- Yeah, I know you are.

<Derick hangs up the phone and starts walking to his PC.>

-Would it hurt actually to go out? What is wrong with me, why can’t I be normal, like any other folk. Like Johny, or Joe. Or Jenna. Why can’t I have a social life, a normal one. Why must I be reclusive. Maybe I will try and go out for a bit. Hope no plane crashes on me. <with that, he changes direction, heads for the bedroom, finds a change of clean clothes after which he exits his house not knowing what to expect out of this typical but tragic weekend.>

00 – Prologue

- Why cannot you say what you feel about me?

- Because…

- Because what? Afraid I cannot handle the cruel truth? Afraid that I cannot accept my own demise, which by the way, I have long accepted it and with regret, welcomed it. My soul is…

-Stop it!

<bang> <bang>

- <Gasp>

- Oh God!

- Happy?

- How could I be happy? I ask for the truth and you do that?! What’s gotten into you?!

- I can’t tell you <cough>

- WHY?!

- You know.. <cough> why…. <coughs blood>

-You are suffering from intense internal hemorrhage…. please lay still while I get some…

- DON’T!

- …

- Do not go! It is too late for me…

- Why… WHY MUST YOU DIE FOR SOME PETTY WORDS? WHY MUST YOU DIE FOR ME?

- I have already <cough> told you… I can’t!

<last breath drawn, she passes away>

-…

- ..No.. Don’t! I’ll never forgive you for this! <sob> DON’T LEAVE ME!!

It should have been a good night. A honest farewell.

No blood should have been shed upon these steps. Not today. Not ever in here. It seems as though fate turned against him, cursed him to a life riddled with questions but no answer to be found. A life of misery and guilt for something so insignificant to others, but important to him. The Truth! Always painful, always covered in black, always a bitch.

<- What do I do now? Where shall I go? Who should I speak to?! What is going to happen with me?>

Unknown to him, divine forces conjured up his life from the get-go. To always be like this, never to attempt another close human contact for the rest of his life, just a lab rat for The Great One, the puppeteer behind it all, the Man behind the curtain. He will live out the rest of his life in solitude, never to feel another human emotion. An outcast among his own kind. His own race. His own age.

This is how it begins. This is the story of the Greatest Loner there ever lived. His thoughts and emotions unknown to no one, except himself.

Empty

My social life is as void as the ocean itself. Except the ocean is full of life, critters, beings.

Sincerely speaking, I am sick of my life. I am sick of always ‘crying’ about my short-comings (?), my flaws. Not even one good quality in me, a talent, something that you can only be born with -

-Such as friends and love, happy memories, a good life. This is pointless and useless. But this (blog) is the only thing I can do.

Ce gluma.

Ma otravesc, ma droghez continuu cu vise pe care nimeni nu le poate realiza de s-ar pune in papucii mei. Altfel, ele sunt realizabile. Sunt mai amar, mai crud, viata mi se pare de acuma o inutilitate. Numai am pentru ce trai, ma simt fara vlaga, fara rost. Nu imi am un rost, nu imi am o pasiune, o iubire in viata catre ceva sau macar cineva. Numai traiesc emotii din acestea de foarte mult timp. Numai emotii de gelozie catre o anumita situatie si de ura pentru tot ceea ce ma inconjoara. Dar n-o arat. Nu o arat pentru ca vreau sa o exprim altfel. De as fi orice alt om banal, orice alt cocalar de rand, mi-as exprima-o prin bataie. As lua la batjocura pe toata lumea, as fi foarte artagos.

In schimb, raman docil, linistit, ca o vaca care asteapta sa fie macelarita pentru sutele de oameni care asteapta zi de zi intr-un McDonald’s sa comande si sa manance, dintr-o vaca cancerigena. Ce mai conteaza, sa se simta bine prostul, nu? Oricum, numai pe moment.

Supararea imi abate calea, si am pus punct pe o perioada nedeterminata de timp viitoarelor proiecte. Am de gand sa ma tin de unul singur si asta in vara. Numai stiu de ce am zis ‘viitoarelor proiecte’ dar nici nu imi mai storc creierii, pentru ca s-au adunat destule incat sa nu ma mai incante ideea corectitudinii unui blog cumsecade. Cateva cuvinte inainte de sfarsit. Go Romanian National Security: pentru ca politica in tara asta este varza, a se citi de tot cacatul, pentru ca oamenilor politici – a se citi, niste muisti si bulangii mai ceva decat rromul de rand – nu fac nimic pentru tara asta, nici macar pentru imaginea externa, ca cea interna s-a lasat de mult pagubasa. Baieti, continuati sa faceti ceea ce faceti, va aplaud. As fi facut si eu asta, dar nu ma pricep in calculatoare intr-atat de mult incat sa sparg si sa ‘postez’ ce vreau eu pe un site. Continuati sa faceti ceea ce ati facut pana acuma, si nu ar strica sa mai ridicati ‘volumul’ din cand in cand. Va tin pumnii.

In rest, ne vedem cand va fi!